Positively Parenting

By Danielle Sullivan

Most moms around the country gasped when they heard about the death of Elizabeth Edwards. Yes, we did hear that the chemotherapy treatments were not working but I was really hoping that this incredibly strong woman and mother, who had endured way too much pain in any one lifetime, would overcome the cancer.

We all know her story; the tragic death of her 16-year-old son, Wade, due to a car accident in 1996, the cancer diagnosis a decade later, followed by the surprise discovery of her husband of nearly 30 years cheating on her and fathering a baby with his mistress. How could one woman be dealt such cards?

Every time I saw her speak, she astounded me with her grace and courage. She was the epitome of elegance and strength. She started preparing her children to be able to face her death years ago. Just imagine having to do that. It’s unthinkable.

I am haunted by a book I read by my favorite author William Maxwell called So Long, See You Tomorrow, which recounts the anguish of a ten-year-old boy who loses his mother, just the same age as Elizabeth’s youngest. Maxwell himself lost his mother at age ten and had never really gotten over it, which is why that theme replays over and over in his body of work.

I am wracked with sadness for her children. I don’t know what’s worse as a mother, having to leave your children or the notion that they will have to deal with the aftermath of you not being there. It is gut-wrenching. I think we will all be hugging our kids tighter over the next few days as we remember Elizabeth.

Elizabeth, in her own right, was an attorney, best-selling author, and strong health care advocate, but none of it ever took precedence over her role as a mother. In a world where fame and fortune often reign supreme, especially in politics, Elizabeth was at her best, a down-to-earth mom who cared most about raising good people in the world. She was just like all of us, and that is probably why it hits us so hard. Yet she was above many because she managed to hold it all together, through every stone that life threw at her and remain her loving and caring self up until the end.

My wish is that her children will be able to summon enough strength to get through all the grief and sadness, and continue on with their lives. Of course, that is what their mom would have wanted. I also hold onto the simple belief that she is now reunited with her first-born son Wade.

Through the course of any woman’s life, there are countless bumps along the way followed by little glimpses of abundant joy. It is up to us to hold our heads high and forge through our trials with the strength that Elizabeth Edwards exuded. She was and will continue to be an exceptional role model. In the end, if we are most remembered for being a good mother, I think that may be the highest praise anyone can receive, and Elizabeth Edwards undoubtedly exceeded that accolade ten-fold.