Positively Parenting

By Danielle Sullivan

Sleep issues are one of the biggest concerns facing moms and families. We all know that when the kids don’t sleep, no one sleeps in the house so we consulted Shari Mezrah, “The Sleep Mom” for her best advice on sleep.

How parents identify sleep concerns?

As a parent, your concerns grow along with your kids! Parents can expect some sleep concerns to arise with life transitions – moving from a crib to a bed, and moving from one room or house to another, or even taking a family vacation. However, familiarity is the key to happiness and security for a toddler.

A child’s room must be their special place where they can be comfortable in their space. The sleep environment can play a huge role in helping kids get to and stay asleep. In my opinion, this is why it is important for children to sleep in their own space from birth. If your child cannot fall asleep on daily basis, you need to evaluate different variables that might be hindering your child to get to sleep.

What are the major sleep issues in children?

Some sleep issues include anxiety and night terrors, which can be influenced by a number of environmental and behavioral factors, such as stress, change, and diet. In babies, teething is a major cause of sleeplessness. In toddlers, transition is a big component of night awakening and nightmares. With all children, adequate rest during naps is vitally important.  Overly tired children can become irritable and have behavioral issues.

What can parents do at home to help?

Scheduled efficient feedings, naps, and wake times are essential to a good night's sleep. Wind-down time (at least 30 minutes before bedtime) eliminates stimulating activity and encourages low-key interactions, which are good for getting a child to sleep. Make sure all electronic devices, like television, computer and video games, are off.

Having bedtime rituals such as a “family circle” can be very beneficial by giving children something to look forward to and making bedtime less of a battle. A family circle allows each person in the family to express their feelings and share the good and bad of the day. Open communication helps the family to become more connected. End the circle with prayers or positive affirmations and plans for the next day.

If there are sleep-related issues and your child has a hard time going to sleep or waking up at night, eliminate sugar after 3pm.

What is a night terror?

At approximately two years of age, some children develop night terrors. Night terrors can be extremely scary for parents as well as the child. Typically, your child will let out a piercing cry in the middle of the night, and when you go to comfort him, you may find him sitting straight up in the bed with his eyes wide open. It is important not to have a conversation or rationalize with your child, just use reassuring comfort words like, “you’re okay” and gently ease him back to sleep. Night terrors typically occur three to four hours after your child has fallen asleep.  Night terrors are thought to be caused by an overly aroused central nervous system, and children will outgrow them in time.

How do parents recognize that their child actually does have a sleep disorder? That his/her sleeping has gone beyond the typical “not getting enough sleep”?

Motherly instinct is very powerful – trust your intuition if you think your child has a sleep disorder. Talk to your pediatrician or family physician about the reasons for your concerns. Your pediatrician can provide specific advice on monitoring for sleep disorders to help you determine if your child has a sleep disorder.

When should parents take a child to a sleep specialist?

If your child’s sleep (or lack of it) is impacting your and your child’s ability to function, learn and play, it is time to seek out a specialist. Sleep specialists can range from medical to psychosocial. Find one (or a combination of your pediatrician and a specialist) that works for you and your family.

Shari's Best Sleep Tips:

Never tell your child to “go to bed,” which sounds like a command, and can cause anxiety if your child is not prepared for sleep. Don’t make it a big deal. Make it “rest-rest time.”

Make sure you child is not overly stimulated before going to bed.

Teach your child to breathe.  This is important if you child does have sleep anxiety.  Taking three deep breaths will help diffuse the anxiety.

If your child is having trouble sleeping, tell them to think of happy thoughts and encourage good memories.

Shari Mezrah is a sleep schedule specialist (www.TheSleepMom.com), author of The Baby Sleeps Tonight: Your Infant Sleeping Through the Night by 9 Weeks (Yes, Really!) and the mother of two.