Positively Parenting

By Leta Hamilton

As a parent of two under 5 children and one just barely over 5, anything resembling peace can be in short supply around our house. Last night, my husband came home to me sitting at the dining room table with my head in my hands having completely given up trying to calm the constant combat.

Ironically, just that morning I had presented a workshop in front of 50 moms on the topic of cultivating peace in the family. Like a seed, when we plant a commitment to experiencing peace in our own lives and we “water” that seed with daily practices that support a peaceful countenance, it grows within us and expands outward to touch the lives of everyone in our family and beyond. While I am still far from being that Zen Mommy who walks around in complete peace and tranquility, I still do a few things every day to make the perpetually peaceful Zen Mommy feel within reach. Here is my formula for cultivating peace within myself. I hope it helps you as much as it helps me.

I Pay attention to what is going on inside of me. I track my emotions and make conscious choices about how I would like to feel and what I need to do to get there.

I make Every day a new day. No matter what happened yesterday, I make a commitment to starting fresh today and letting go of the past.

I Ask for help. Even with the grandparents living far away, I do a few things that take some of the parenting and caretaking pressure off of me for a few hours each week. I swap babysitting hours with a friend from church. I go to church so that I can put my kids in Sunday school/nursery and have a peaceful hour of “me” time in church. I take my two youngest to a drop in play center where I can leave them at a very affordable cost for 3.5 hours each week. And I ask my husband to take over in the evenings when I need to go out and do something for myself.

I Center myself daily. I have my special place on the couch where I sneak each morning to sit quietly and meditate before the craziness of the day. I keep my journal handy and write in it when a few moments of calm present themselves. I pepper prayer throughout my day to keep me focused on unconditional love and the things that truly matter in the long run.

I Enjoy the moment (to the best of my abilities). This is a great challenge for me, as I struggle with the habit of having my mind on all the things I should be doing or would like to be doing with my time. Yet, I realize that peace and happiness are only found in the moment and that my children deserve my full attention when I am with them. Do I want them to grow up with the impression that everything else matters more to me than they do? When I look at them I realize what messengers of happiness they are and then I can let go of the other “stuff” occupying my mental space. Those are always treasured moments.

Using these 5 daily practices, I cultivate within my own heart a greater sense of peace. This peace opens the door to feelings of gratitude for all the pieces of my life: even the ones that are frustrating or unpleasant. I’ll share my formula for cultivating gratitude with you next week. Until then, be peaceful.

Leta Hamilton is the nationally recognized author of The Way of the Toddler and hosts The Way of the Toddler Hour on TogiNet Radio every Tuesday at 5pm EST on www.toginet.com.

Read more of Leta's Field Notes:

Field Notes: The School Year Begins!

Field Notes: Honesty

Field Notes: A Gift From Heaven