Positively Parenting

By Janis D. Gioia

Halloween is right around the corner. It’s time for hayrides, caramel apples, and colored leaves falling from the trees.  In addition to stocking up on goodies for trick-or-treaters and picking out just the right pumpkin, parents, teachers and caregivers need to consider the needs of children with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID), Social Anxiety and Food Allergies.  For these children, Halloween often involves a lot more fear than that caused by ghosts, goblins and other ghouls of the season.

A Few Things to Consider:

Dressing up in a costume is not fun for all children.

For children with any of the above-named concerns, dressing up in a costume may not be fun for a variety of reasons.The costume may be scratchy, itchy, or difficult to put on or take off leaving the child feeling claustrophobic. For children with social anxiety, wearing a costume may make them feel extra unwanted attention, or even increase their feeling of discomfort around peers.

Alternate Ideas: See what the child is comfortable with: maybe instead of a full costume the child wants to wear a hat, have a Halloween hair ribbon, carry an accessory, have their face painted (probably not for SID, since paints can feel thick and greasy and have strange smells, but worth giving as a choice), or maybe they opt for no costume at all. If they want to wear a costume, buy it early and have them gradually get used to wearing it for short amounts of time. Perhaps they will get used to its unique characteristics.

Trick-or-treat night or Halloween parties may be over-stimulating.

Going trick-or-treating may be too much for some children…it’s loud, other trick-or-treaters are running from house to house, and children may feel a sense of too much stimulation or that things are out-of-control.  Sometimes children can be frightened by the strange aura and smells of fog machines, or get headaches from flashing lights. For kids with food allergies, getting a bunch of candy that most likely contains allergens is very scary.  Halloween parties can contain any and all of these things.

How to modify trick-or-treating: If your child likes the idea of trick-or-treating but gets over-stimulated, limit the time spent trick-or-treating and/or the number of houses visited. If being out in the dark with other children running around is frightening, consider alternate trick-or-treat venues that may be offered at a mall or local town shops. Some children find this kind of trick-or-treating to be less overwhelming. Children with food allergies can trade their candy in for safe treats or non-food prizes like stickers, gum, etc.

Less stressful Halloween parties: Since Halloween parties are usually full of overly-exuberant children, loud music and noises, and lots of sweet smells, offer an alternative experience for children with anxiety, SID, ASD and food allergies. Maybe this means picking the child up prior to the party, maybe it means arranging for the child to “help” a specialist in the building (reading tutor, speech pathologist, etc.) who is not supervising a party and would have a room that is a quiet haven for the child. If a school counselor is available, perhaps s/he can help the child manage in the classroom and then provide an alternate experience when the child experiences anxiety.

If the party is at a home, see in advance what types of games, food or activities will be planned. Your child may wish to go, but for a shorter time. Always have a plan in place so that you are available to take your child home early if needed. Never force a child to stay in a stressful situation thinking it will toughen them up for the next time. This will most likely cause more anxiety and avoidance of the “next time” regardless of what the event is.

Anticipatory anxiety regarding Halloween and the upcoming holiday season

The holiday hoopla that begins with Halloween lasts right up until Christmas. For kids with ASD, SID, and anxiety disorders, the anticipation of the upcoming holidays is like a freight train that picks them up and hurls them into anxious territory. Think about it: who doesn’t feel the adrenaline rush from the start of the holidays? From picking out a Halloween costume, carving the jack-o-lantern, decorating, Thanksgiving planning, shopping, cooking, and then the Christmas rush of shopping, wrapping, cooking, decorating….it’s enough to make anyone feel slightly frantic. Children with special social and emotional needs pick up on adult stresses and also the excitement that is in the air…at school, the mall…everywhere.

Ways to relax at the holidays and anytime

You probably do many of these things to help your child relax anyhow, just kick them up a notch over the holidays when you might be busy and forget: relaxation breathing, using guided imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, positive self talk or affirmations, taking a warm bath, getting plenty of sleep and lots of exercise, listening to relaxation music, reading, holding a soothing object during stressful times like a soft squishy ball or a smooth pebble, or an activity that you know calms your child.

There are plenty of fun, family friendly things to do in the fall. Here are just a few suggestions: go apple picking and bake a pie, take a hayride through a pumpkin patch, find your way through a hay maze (probably best for kids with food allergies and social anxiety…possibly not for those with ASD or SID), make caramel apples, do a fall craft like decorating a wreath, making a scarecrow, take a nature walk, collect or jump in a pile of freshly fallen leaves:  the possibilities are endless. You may discover a new, fall family tradition that gives your child something to look forward to that has nothing to do with Halloween but everything to do with fun.

Janis Gioia, a mother of two, is an elementary school teacher and the author of the Benjamin Franklin Award winning education book, The Wolf Pack Classroom Management Plan.  Janis is currently developing relaxation curriculums for children and parents. Janis, and her dog, Melanie, are part of a therapy dog team and visit schools and nursing homes.