Positively Parenting

By Candi Wingate

We live in a society in which strength, independence, and capability are the ideal.  If you can’t do it all, does that make you weak?  Should you be judged if you ask for help?  Absolutely not! Below, we discuss what is truly ideal and healthy for families.

Let us acknowledge the following facts. No one is perfect. Everyone has limitations. No one can do it all. When you have healthy self-knowledge and know yourself well, including your strengths and weaknesses, it is natural to celebrate your strengths. When you have healthy self-esteem, you can acknowledge and seek assistance. By working with your strengths and working around limitations, you are more likely to succeed.

In the case of parenting, the societal expectation that moms “bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan” is daunting.  With 24/7 responsibility between the equivalent of two full-time (or full-time-and-then-some) jobs (i.e., work outside the home and work inside the home), moms typically have no decompression or soul-searching tiime. Yet, this time is essential for good mental health, which is in turn essential for good parenting. After all, no one is good at, much less perfect at, everything. It's part of what makes us human.

If a mom’s strengths include a loving nature, intelligence, and a strong ethical framework, and the mom’s weaknesses include impatience and a difficulty enjoying “non-productive” time, she may benefit from some help. This is where asking for help can come in. Hiring a nanny might help the mom juggle her many responsibilities, and minimize her time demands. The nanny, in turn, provides the children with the fun of “non-productive” time that the children want and need to enjoy, and everybody wins.

Children deserve the best we have to offer. We can give our children the best we have, both in terms of what we have ourselves and what other resources we can tap to benefit our children. They deserve no less.  Asking for help is not a weakness; it is a strength, a sign of self-awareness and self-confidence, and a testimony to the desire of any mom to give her children the best she has to offer.

Candi Wingate is an expert in the child care industry with over 20 years experience. She is the founder of Nannies4Hire.com and Care4Hire.com. She is also the author of 100 Tips for Nannies & Families and the proud mom of two.